You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
