By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
