Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
