i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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