Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
