Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
