That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
