oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
