I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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