You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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