All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
