Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
