my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
