You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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