Kiss
Puke
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
