one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
