i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
