i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
