in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You ate ashes out of my bong
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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