..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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