I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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