____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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