Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
