I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
