yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My balls are so social today.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
