im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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