we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
