The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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