So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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