all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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