When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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