My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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