If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
