Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize