Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The best revenge is premature balding
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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