Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
