you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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