I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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