My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
