Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
