Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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