"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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