I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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