so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
