Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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