I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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