Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize