Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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