i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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