Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
