Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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