What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
