i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
