Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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