Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
worst night to have a conscience
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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