i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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