yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
