i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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