this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
