The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
