his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
