I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
