shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
